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Love is an awe-inspiring emotion that has the power to deeply impact us and seep into every aspect of our lives. As we evolve, develop, and embrace our true selves, we must become cognizant of what love means to us. One of the invaluable benefits of making self-love a priority is that it allows you to gain a profound understanding of what it means to love yourself.
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Once you embark on an introspective journey and dive deeper into your heart, you can effectively communicate your love language to others, paving the way for you to experience the affection you yearn for in every situation. On this delightful occasion of love, let us learn how to eloquently express our needs and desires to those we cherish.
The only way you can receive what you want is by first defining what you want
So....You Want To Be Loved?
So, I heard you have a desire to experience love, which is a wonderful thing! However, it's important to reflect on whether you are truly ready for this journey. Often, we may feel drawn to love without having a clear understanding of why we want it, how we want to experience it, and who we want to love us. This can lead to confusion and misunderstandings that can cause pain and heartbreak, which may impact our future relationships.
When you approach love without clarity, you may struggle to find fulfillment in your relationships and may find yourself repeating patterns that lead to heartbreak. This can create feelings of bitterness, resentment, and a desire to avoid love altogether. However, if you take the time to evaluate your true intentions and work through any underlying issues, you can create a solid foundation to experience healthy love.
Where Love Begins....
When it comes to building healthy and fulfilling relationships, it all starts with you. This requires a deep level of self-reflection and self-acceptance. The journey towards love is not an overnight process - it takes time, effort, and patience. You must learn what love means to you, how you enjoy being loved, and what experiences make you feel loved. You must also be willing to confront your flaws, mistakes, challenges, and pains. This involves acknowledging and accepting your weaknesses, as well as learning to overcome them. By doing so, you will become more grounded in your self-love, which will radiate outwards and attract what you truly desire to experience. Taking the time and putting in the effort to understand yourself in this way, helps you develop the clarity and understanding you need to help you express yourself and your needs effectively to others.
People don't know how to love you. They learn by observing how you love yourself.
When you engage with others, it's important to be authentic and present your true personality and characteristics. This helps people gain a deeper understanding of who you are and what you stand for. The way you answer questions, express yourself, and carry yourself says a lot about your values and beliefs.
However, before you can present your best self to others, it's essential to do some inner work first. This means taking the time to reflect on your values, strengths, weaknesses, and goals. When you have a clear understanding of who you are and what you want, it's easier to show up in the world with confidence and self-assurance.
Your self-worth, self-esteem, and self-care all play a critical role in how you present yourself to others. If you feel good about yourself and take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being, you're more likely to show up as your best self. This, in turn, will help you build more meaningful connections with others and lead a happier, more fulfilling life.
When you love yourself, everyone you experience will have no choice but to love you too.
Click here to access the complete list of 40+ FREE affirmations to boost your confidence and self-esteem.
What Language Do You Speak?
Discovering your unique way of being loved is an essential part of exploring and getting to know yourself. Each one of us is different and has a preference when it comes to feeling loved. Although several qualities help us personify our desired love language, Gary Chapman's book, "The Five Love Languages," is an exceptional guide that makes it easier to understand how we give and receive love from others. If you want to explore your love language further, I highly recommend purchasing the book. Knowing your preferred love language can not only help you communicate your emotional needs to others but can also point out ways in which you can love yourself better. So, take the first step towards self-discovery and let "The Five Love Languages" help you explore the many ways you can be loved below:
Words of Affirmation are all about communication. If this is your love language, you feel most loved when others express their feelings towards you through words of affirmation. These words motivate you to take action and believe in yourself. Positive words can transform your mindset and outlook on life. If you speak this love language, communicate it to your loved ones so they can understand how best to show you love and appreciation.
Acts of Service involve expressing your feelings for someone through your actions. It is a way of showcasing your care and affection towards your loved ones by doing things that make their lives easier. If you resonate with this love language, you may feel loved and appreciated when someone takes the initiative to help you out without any prompting or request from you. For instance, if your partner helps you with the household chores or runs errands for you without expecting anything in return, you might feel deeply loved and valued. In essence, acts of service are a way of communicating your love through tangible acts of kindness and support.
If your love language is Receiving Gifts, it means that you feel loved and appreciated when you receive a physical token of love from someone you care about. It could be something as simple as a handwritten note or a small trinket, or as grand as an expensive piece of jewelry or a surprise vacation. However, the price tag of the gift is not as important as the thought and effort put into it. The main characteristic of this love language is thoughtfulness. When someone takes the time to pick out a thoughtful gift that is meaningful to you, it shows that they are thinking about you and care about you deeply.
If you identify Quality Time as your love language, you most likely cherish spending moments with those you love. You find the most satisfaction in your relationships when you can spend uninterrupted, focused time with your loved ones. Whether it's enjoying each other's company in silence or engaging in stimulating discussions, the important thing is to simply be present with them. You value the opportunity to connect with your loved ones on a deeper level and create meaningful memories together.
If Physical Touch is your primary love language, then it means that you feel most loved and appreciated when you receive expressions of affection such as hugs, holding hands, high fives, or cuddling. For you, intimacy plays a crucial role in fostering a deep emotional connection with who you are trying to connect with.
Exploring the concept of love languages can be a beautiful experience as it allows you to dive deeper into what form of love resonates with you the most. It gives you a chance to understand how you prefer to receive love and what makes you feel special. Once you've identified your top two love languages, it's important to put them into practice by giving them to yourself. This way, you can communicate your preferences more effectively to your loved ones, and they can reciprocate in ways that bring you the most happiness. Although two love languages may stick out to you the most, all five are essential to your growth and development. Let's explore how you can open yourself up to receive love through each love language.
Here Are Five Sensational Ways to Receive Love Through Each Love Language:
Express Yourself Through Your Actions - Prioritizing self-love can have a positive impact on your behavior, thoughts, and interests. By intentionally learning to understand and care for yourself as a whole, you can experience personal growth and transformation. These changes may be noticed by others, leading them to either stay connected or move on. Ultimately, by loving yourself first, you can attract love that is intertwined with the love you have for yourself.
Speak Life - As you heal and overcome negative and limiting beliefs about yourself, you will start to recognize how powerful your words are and how they affect your personal experiences and interactions with others. Adopt positive thinking and speaking as your new normal, creating a space for others to feel and experience your inner light. As a result, you may notice a shift in the quality of your connections and conversations. This is a positive change and indicates that the work you have invested in yourself is positively impacting your relationships, friendships, and partnerships. It will help you identify which connections you should continue to nurture and grow.
Treat Yourself & Welcome Gratitude - One of the most effective ways to receive love is by taking good care of yourself. By nurturing yourself, you will radiate a positive energy that will attract others to compliment and notice you. Instead of waiting for someone else to give you what you need, start giving to yourself. When you prioritize your well-being, you create a magnetic attraction that draws others to you. If you rely on others to give to you, it may lessen the value of the gift. So, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and others will be drawn to you and want to give to you as well.
You Ain't Always Got To Be Outside - Learning to love and appreciate yourself is a beautiful journey that requires intentional action. One way to do this is to choose a life of solitude where you can spend time alone, learn how to enjoy your own company, and make the most of your time. While it may be tempting to socialize, this can often lead to forming superficial connections with people since you may not truly understand or appreciate yourself for who you are. On the other hand, by spending quality time with yourself, you can gain a deeper understanding of your interests, passions, and values, allowing you to attract like-minded individuals who share your vision and desires. So, if you want to cultivate genuine connections and build meaningful relationships, start by spending time with yourself and learning to love all that you are.
It's Okay To Be Weird or Corny - Now, I know I can't be the only one who has seen someone talking to themselves, hugging themselves, or hyping themselves up. Usually when we encounter these individuals, because we are unaware of the details creating this moment for them, we immediately think they are weird or super corny, when in all actuality, they're showing what it means to love themselves. How do you celebrate your wins in life? How do you show yourself that you are proud of you? When was the last time you encouraged yourself before a big meeting or patted yourself on the back for overcoming a challenge? Loving yourself may appear weird at times, but that doesn't dilute your need to express it. The best way to attract and receive love that feels authentic to you is to be all of who you are, proudly. Whether others think it's weird or corny, there will always be someone who will vibe and join in on your wave of bliss.
This may sound corny🤷🏾♀️......but can someone play Sensational by Chris Brown?
I love this song! It always puts me in a mood to dance, smile, laugh, and feel good. Receiving love, in whatever form you desire to experience, requires you to love yourself so that everything you desire will fall into place.
So, if you're searching for love this Valentine's Day, remember that the most important person in your life is already with you. Cherish yourself and create your own happiness.
Continue Your Journey to Wellness
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Don’t forget to check out our Mindfulness Journals, You Can Do This!, and Soul Work Affirmation Cards, crafted to help you thrive in your everyday life. These resources are here to empower your journey.
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Together, let’s keep exploring and nurturing the best version of you!
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
Amirah B. Abdullah, DrPH
Dr. A is a Mindfulness Coach with a passion for helping individuals build the muscle that influences everything they do. For Your Inner G is committed to helping you improve your mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being to support and encourage adulting success!
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