5 Deep Fears That Keep You From Healing — and How to Move Through Them
- For Your Inner G
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
👁️ The Fear Beneath the Mask
Every October, the world leans into fear. We carve faces into pumpkins, tell ghost stories, and dress up as monsters. But the scariest encounters aren’t at haunted houses—they’re in the quiet corners of our own hearts.
When we finally slow down, when the noise fades, something inside whispers: It’s time to look at what hurts. But we hesitate. Because healing requires seeing. And seeing requires courage.
You’re not weak for being afraid to heal. You’re human.
Inner work—the process of facing yourself with honesty, compassion, and spiritual awareness—isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. Still, many of us avoid it, not because we don’t want to grow, but because we’re afraid of what we might find.
Let’s look at the five deepest fears that keep people from healing—and how to move through each one with both science and soul.
Fear #1: Facing Your Own Pain (Emotional Avoidance & Trauma Recall)
We avoid what hurts. It’s human nature.
Studies on emotional avoidance show that people instinctively suppress painful emotions because the brain registers them as threats (Source: Psychology Today, 2023).
Ironically, the more we suppress what hurts, the more it grows beneath the surface.
This is what researchers call “ironic process theory”—when we push emotions away, they rebound stronger.
Move-Through-It Step:
Name your fear out loud. Neuroscientists call this affect labeling—when you name what you feel, you reduce the brain’s fear response. Try saying, “I feel sadness,” or “I feel scared to face this.”
It’s not weakness—it’s regulation.
The moment you name the pain, you take your power back.
Fear #2: Losing Who You’ve Been (Identity Disruption & Change Fatigue)
Healing changes you. That’s what makes it sacred—and scary.
Researchers note that people high in harm-avoidance show greater anxiety when faced with change or uncertainty.
When you start healing, you shed habits, roles, and even relationships that were built around your old wounds. It can feel like you’re losing yourself, when in truth—you’re finally meeting yourself.
Move-Through-It Step:
Remember: change doesn’t erase identity; it reveals authenticity. Write down three traits that are true about you no matter what changes. Keep them where you can see them. They’ll remind you that you are evolving, not vanishing.
You’re not losing yourself—you’re remembering who you are.
Fear #3: Emotional Overwhelm (Capacity & Regulation)
Another common reason people resist inner work is the fear of feeling too much.
For those who’ve experienced trauma or long-term stress, emotions can feel physically unsafe. A 2021 study found that early adversity is linked to lower emotional awareness and difficulty processing feelings.
But emotions are not the enemy; they’re messengers.
Each feeling brings data about your needs.
When you learn to meet emotions instead of manage them, you build capacity.
Move-Through-It Step:
Practice emotional pacing. Instead of diving headfirst into heavy memories, start with five minutes of journaling per day. Reflect on what you felt, not why you felt it. Build endurance gently.
Your feelings are not flooding you—they’re freeing you.
Fear #4: Accountability After Awareness (The Weight of Knowing)
Deep down, many of us fear the truth—not because we can’t handle it, but because we know it demands change.
Behavioral psychologists call this the Approach–Avoidance Conflict—the tug-of-war between wanting insight and fearing its consequences.
The moment we become aware of what’s not working, responsibility begins.
That’s heavy—but it’s also holy.
Awareness isn’t punishment; it’s the pathway to peace.
Move-Through-It Step:
When new awareness surfaces, resist the urge to act immediately. Instead, write down the truth you’ve realized and add: “I’m learning what this means for me.” This simple pause keeps awareness from turning into anxiety.
Awareness is not the end—it’s the invitation.
Fear #5: Believing You’re Already Fine (Complacency & the Illusion of Wholeness)
Not all resistance looks like pain. Some look like pride.
Psychologists call this the Fading Affect Bias—over time, our memory of emotional pain softens, leading us to believe we’re “over it” when we’ve simply adapted.
We tell ourselves, “I’m fine,” because “fine” feels safer than vulnerable.
But fine isn’t freedom.
Healing is not about fixing what’s broken; it’s about refining what’s whole.
Move-Through-It Step:
Ask yourself: What part of me still feels tender? Tenderness is truth’s whisper. Follow it.
You don’t need to be broken to begin—you only need to be honest.
🌿 How to Continue the Work
If any of these fears felt familiar, it’s because they are part of being human.
Healing asks for humility, courage, and rhythm. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Inside the Inner G Collective, we walk through these exact processes—together.
For just $4.44/month, you’ll gain access to real and relatable content that helps you practice inner work in your everyday life.
🌱 Your First Step — Free Digital Resource
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That act itself is an energetic declaration:
I’m investing in my healing.
The value isn’t in the price—it’s in the practice.
🖋️ Write Your Way Home
The best inner work happens when your thoughts meet paper.
Writing by hand bridges the body and the mind—it tells your brain, This matters.
Explore the Journal Collection and choose the one that speaks to your season. If you don’t see it, order the custom design. I’ll create it for you.
Your journal isn’t just paper—it’s proof you’re doing the work.
🍂 A Seasonal Invitation
As October unfolds, the world may chase external thrills. But you—
You can choose the quiet courage of facing yourself.
Take the rest of this first month of fall to heal, reflect, and write it out.
Every new goal, every new dream, every new chapter begins here—in the brave act of looking within.
Don’t let fear be your boundary. Let it be your beginning.
With Love,
Dr. Amirah
📚 Further Reading & Sources:
Wegner, D. M. (1994). Ironic processes of mental control. Psychological Review.
Nature Mental Health (2024). Neural correlates of harm-avoidance and change anxiety.
PMC (2021). Early adversity and reduced emotional awareness.
Frontiers in Psychology (2025). Approach–Avoidance Bias in Self-Relevant Feedback.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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Amirah B. Abdullah, DrPH
Founder of For Your Inner G | Writer + Wellness Educator
Dr. Amirah is a mindset and emotional wellness guide helping ambitious souls shift perspective, deepen self-awareness, and heal with intention. Through her blog, A Gym for the Mind, she shares poetic reflections, grounded strategies, and soulful truths to support your personal growth journey.
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